I’ve been contacted by the FBI!
Or so the email says.
One of the more imaginative Nigerian schemes, to be sure, but still full of typos. Maybe I could get rich just getting hired out to make their emails look more realistice. A 1% fee should be a nice additional income, right?
Here’s the text of the email:
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division. Federal Bureau Of Investigation. J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc Customers Service Hours–Monday To Saturday: Office Hours Monday To Saturday: Next up –
Monitory?
Dc?
And I can’t quite make out the hours either.
Attn: Beneficiary,
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment. So, I’m having an illegal transaction, but the reason I’ve not gotten any money is that I haven’t sent them any. I’ll bet that “none” officials should have been “known” officials as well.
The New American President Barrack Obama have made way to all americans who have not yet received their payment, In recent ages, The American experienced difficulties in receiving their funds because of the former presidents of USA, As you know quite well that Nigeria is a black country and the Past American presidents treats the blacks in the america like slaves, The White americans practice races against the blacks and the Nigerian Government is not happy about this and this is the main reason why your payment have been delayed with one excuse or the other, Your New President Barrack Obama had a meeting with the Nigerian President some weeks ago and for the fact, Barrack Obama is a black man and will stop races in America, All americans are eligible to receive their payment now without anymore headaches. This is a good news to you so act fast and receive your payment now without anymore delay.
This section is rife with typographicals – inconsistent capitalization of “American”, White shouldn’t be capitalized, etc. It’s obviously preposterous that a letter from the FBI would state that international commerce has been held up because the past presidents were prejudiced.
Please I have taken this measure, having observed and known what you have suffered in your pursuit so far to claim your funds with fake banks IN AFRICA ESPECIALLY NIGERIA(CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA/ FAKE SCURITY BANK)e.t.c and I have understood that it would take a long rough journey for you to receive this funds through ATM CARD Payment, this is while we have gone this extra mile in making sure that you receive immediately your deposit through this safe means where there will be no trail and error or stories. Since your deposit was called back to Africa and was converted into the Ecowas treasury after arresting all the people involved in scaming you both from NIGERIA, Benin Republic and UK
Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD. So, no more “trail” and error, eh? And a variable upper limit on daily withdrawals? It’s up to each ATM machine to roll the internal dice and decide whether or not to give me money? Seems a bit odd, that.
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $320.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.
So, the guy with my ATM card that has 11 million dollars in the account can’t just deduct that $320.00 and send me the card? I wonder why that would be.
CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: MR. SMITH WILLIAMS EMAIL smithwilliams1001@yahoo.cn Do contact Mr. SMITH WILLIAMS of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details: FULL NAME: Odd abbreviation for Telephone. And just what does my current occupation have to do with sending me money anyhow?
So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s which you’ll use in making payment of $320.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
We assure you that your parcel will arrive your country within 2 days as soon as this company receive the payment of $320.00 by you and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see whether we are competent in the discharge of our duties. Now the FBI is brokering delivery of ATM cards? And please make up your mind – is it “CENTRE” or “CENTER”?
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
ROBERT S. MUELLER, Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. SMITH WILLIAMS of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation. I love this part – pay no attention to the fraud in front of the curtain while ignoring all those other frauds that want your money.
|
||||||
Explore posts in the same categories: Ramblings
